Cowboy walks into the bedroom carrying a sheep in his arms and says, "Honey, this is
the cow I make love to when you have a headache."

The wife, laying in the bed reading a book, looks up and says, "If you weren't such
an idiot, you'd know that's a sheep, not a cow."

The guy replies, "If you weren't such a bitch, you'd realize I was talking to the sheep." 

A Blonde drops off a shirt at the cleaners.

The Asian lady behind the counter thanks her, and says "Come Again".

The Blonde says
"No, it's toothpaste this time you nosey bitch"